am I being unresonable (warning - rant!)

[skiteacher]

I have a lodger (not by choice - by size of mortgage) before my current one - it had always been fine.
This one, here for 2 years, well, it was 'ok' to start with, she's a bit strange, young and not really understanding about living with others.
But last autumn she got a boyfriend, he lives with his dad, so most of the time he is here. Which I think is not on, it's not a big house, and he is here, using the
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, she cooks meals for the both of them, etc etc.
I have had a
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of 'words' with her, and the amount he is here has decreased (from always here, to half to the week) but she doesn't seem to think it is at all unreasonable. Their way of dealing with it since I first mentioned it, is that he now doesn't talk to me, shoots straight up into her bedroom and only comes out to go to the
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room. She rarely says anything to me either (not that she did much before but at least we chatted) SHe rarely does any house work, don't think she even knows we have a broom, hoover, dustbin outside etc. I know i'm not working at hte mo. but ....
It is my house, she is only paying the going rate for 1 person. The issue is I don't have the courage to say much more, and what to say? Pay more (but I really don't want him here anyway) move out (i'd have the issue of finding another lodger) and saying it's unreasonable doesn't seem to have much effect.
AARRgggghhhh. I wish I didn't have to have a lodger, but I ilke my house now and i don't want to move to live in a shoe box that I could afford on my own. Having a partner would solve the issue (ie living together) but at the moment that seems more unlikely than her getting some social skills!!! (oooo that's catty!)

THank you listening!!

[NuttySupplier]

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I really can sympathise with you!

Can you ask her if you can have a 'meeting', the 3 of you, to discuss the new arrangements seeing as the initial rent basis was on 1 person sharing? Maybe get a friend of yours to sit in with you for support (in a non-agressive way!)? Put it to them that you don't mind how much/when he's there, as long as they both pull their weight. If he's going to be there half the time, he needs to be doing a sixth of the work... Oh! Can you start asking him tiny, tiny favours, like changing a lightbulb, plead the feeble damsel in distress with him (men, whoever, can't help it... man make fire, warm girl!) and get the jobs to get bigger over the next few weeks?

[skiteacher]

it's an
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, but really I don't want him here - and as for pleading the crap girlie, i think it's obvious i'm not, as they've seen me drilling, pulling down a shed, painting, putting ikea furniture together.
I know I need to be a tougher landlady - i've just never had to be before - others have all understood normal social rules!
She is on the list for keyworker housing - the only thing is that locally they've run out of money until oct. I'm hoping she'll move out - then all problems solved!!
If not, might ahve to be tougher - all my friends would quite willingly sit in on a 'talk' they think her behaviour is appauling!

[Footiegirl]

I think you need to sit and have a chat with her. If you cannot find a willing friend to sit in with you, I could always pop in after working, having 'accidently' forgotten to put my baton and captor spray in my locker
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No seriously, it is your house, you do need to sit and have a few stern words with the and reset some ground rules. Perhaps giving them a three week trial and if it doesn't change they move out?

Hope you get it sorted, its not nice being uncomfortable in your own home.

x

[skiteacher]

ooo you sound scary footie!!!
Ok, I will find some scary landlord power and try!! It is crap feeling like this in my own home, before it was like sharing with friend, even though I hadn't known them before.
I'm just not good at being scary and putting my foot down!! Unless they are under 18!!

[nutcracker]

Oh skiteacher, you poor thing. I really feel for you as I don't "do" confrontation either. Sometimes you just have to and I think this is one of those times - she is treating your home as if it was her parents', and it isn't, it's yours and you aren't her mother. Let us know how you get on.

[Footiegirl]

sorry! didnt mean to sound scary! Am nice really
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Let us know how things go!

[skiteacher]

I'm sure it's a valauble skill in your new profession Footie, we know your lovely, just hte louts on the se
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nt that need to think you are scary!

[Footiegirl]

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Thank you!

What you going to do about your lodger?